What is happiness all about????? Finding the elusive.

What is happiness all about? It’s a fascinating question. It’s all we want it in our lives but we don’t necessarily know how to obtain it, right? We see others with it and ask “how have they managed to get it and I haven’t?”.

We seem to be in constant pursue of it, this never ending illusion of trickery. That was me. I yearned to grasp its meaning and how to capture it. I was in search of the elusive happiness, I wanted it in my life and I wasn’t going to stop until I found it. Happiness was my mission and when I found it I wanted to help others to discover it too.

 

 

In the beginning.

My start out in life wasn’t that bright. Don’t get me wrong, I had loving parents but they were desperately caught up in their own extreme mental health issues as well as alcohol abuse, that unhappiness became a familiar face within my upbringing; it is therefore not surprising that I found happiness elusive.

However, childhood curiosity has never left me and has led me to search for something more, to find the source of happiness and explore ways to live the best I can.   curiosity girl

 

When we ask ‘What is happiness all about?’ it is all determined by the meaning you put on it. Oxford Dictionary defines it as ‘The state of being happy’, with synonyms such as contentment, pleasure and satisfaction, all of which are born from within. I think for a long time it never registered to me that my happiness came from being me, I thought I gained it from things outside of me, what a revelation that was.

Acceptance.

In this life we are dealt a pack of cards and then left to make sense of them. We find ourselves trying to get the cards off others to make that perfect suit. Saying things to ourselves like ‘I wish I had parents like yours’, ‘if only I looked like her’, ‘you’re so lucky, why can’t I be lucky like you’? ‘Your house is amazing!!!!!, I would be so happy if I had a house like yours’. All of these things creating an illusional form of happiness.

We are conditioned to believe we are not good enough, we need more, have to look attractive or have to do more to feel worthy. Life is so busy with the many external factors creating waves to deter our desire for the truth about what happiness is and we so we are left pursuing, overlooking the fact that we are enough just as we are. So we need reminding of that.

It’s a beautiful peculiar world we live in and being human is complex or so we think it is, we complicate it more than needs be, too often I had heard the phrase ‘we get in our own way’ but I still continued to do it. What does get in our own way even mean? I now see it as trying too hard to make things better, rather than just accepting, I’m okay.

 

The magical world of happiness.

The psychologist Carl Rogers says ‘The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change’. What a magical idea and one now that I grasp.butterfly cocoon

The more I accept myself each day, the more I become open to new possibilities and in tune with inner contentment, satisfaction and pleasure. In turn as this becomes heightened I begin to experience the happiness that was once desired. How beautiful is that.

When we are in the state of happiness, we see the magic that is before us, the beauty of nature that surrounds us, the love for this ever connected existence we lead. It allows us to believe as Audrey Hepburn put it, ‘nothing is impossible, the very word itself says I’M  POSSIBLE.’

I would love to hear from you, about your experiences, or if I can help in anyway, feel free to leave comments below.

Remember happiness starts with you.

All the best

Ali x

littleshopofhappiness.com

 

 

 

 

 

Spread a little happiness and share.

18 thoughts on “What is happiness all about????? Finding the elusive.

  1. I can relate to your post, when we are growing up we tend to look at others and wish for everything they have, not being content, slowly it starts to break us and leave hatred in us, the one thing I always say if you can learn to love yourself just the way you are then nothing will break you and happiness will come to you naturally.

    • Thanks for your comment Mysa, self love is the most valuable gift we can give to ourselves. It seems to have a ripple effect, when we show happiness from a place of self love, its as if it shows others that they can grow from it too. Kind wishes Ali

  2. Brandon says:

    What a great post. I think happiness is truly enjoying almost every single day and it feels natural, like you’re trying not to force anything. Everything you said in this article makes perfect sense especially about the cards we are dealt and then wishing for things other people have. I have learned a lot so thank you so much. I’ll be sharing this page to all my social medias 🙂

  3. Great post, Ali! I too suffered as a child due to alcoholics in my family. It wasn’t until way into my adult life that I found my inner contentment. It’s so tragic that childhood trauma can influence your life so much when you are older. Luckily, things can turn around if you can find happiness!

  4. This was a wonderful read. Not enough people think critically about their well being. I definitely have to agree with you that acceptance is the most important aspect of happiness. People cannot change everything.

    I do have a question though. How do you practice acceptance every day? With school and work, I find it difficult to accept some of the clowns I have to deal with. I look forward to hearing your answer.

    Thank you for sharing and I hope you make it a great day!

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed it Alex. Regarding practising acceptance each day, thanks for such a great question. I have no doubt at times its very challenging but I think when you look behind the person and think they are made up of more than their behaviour, that it is there way of managing their difficulties and they are on their own journey of acceptance and understanding life, I can then find the tolerance and kindness for others and this certainly helps me. Do you think that helps in some way to answer your question? I will certainly give my insight in more depth in another article. Thanks for your input. Ali

  5. Unfortunately in today’s society, happiness is defined by the material things that one has. I am constantly amazed on how much money people spend on frivolous and unnecessary things.

    • It is sadly very true, James. We are driven to believe that material things give us happiness. At some stage luckily, many see beyond the smoke screen and find that the little things in life that we take for granted give so much more pleasure and inner contentment. I like to think so anyway. All the best Ali

  6. I think your last line really sums it up nicely. “Happiness starts with you.” Just as you mentioned, acceptance is key. We can’t change every single thing around us, instead it’s all about accepting and making the best out of all situations.

    Thank you so much for this!

    • Thank you Eric for reading my article and taking time to comment. It is the one thing that changed things for me when I realised I was responsible for creating my own experiences. Sometimes its not easy to look at ourselves in that way but when you do, you begin to feel the happiness you desire.

  7. Our beliefs are based on our experiences and I also think by the way we were programmed by our parents and their experiences.

    I believe we can change that programming and find our own ways.

    I really enjoyed reading your article as I can relate.

    • Thank you Don, I am glad you found my article relatable, they are from my own experiences in the world and what I wanted was to share them so that others could relate and know that it is possible to change how we view things. This then enables us to come away from believing others opinions about who we should be. I know it has made a difference in my life and if it helps one other person, that makes me very happy.

  8. Hi Ali,
    I really enjoyed your post, thank you. I find it easier to accept myself as I am, as I get older. I guess it’s because there’s no going back to our 20’s and 30’s, haha.
    I had a difficult childhood as well with an alcoholic father. Life wasn’t easy in our home, and I was an angry teenager. As an adult, I chose to forgive my dad for everything, and that was the beginning of my happiness. Letting the anger go.
    Thanks again,
    Suzanne

    • Hi Suzanne, thank you for posting and sharing your experience. I too can relate to being an angry teenager. I’m glad you came to forgive, as did I, and it certainly all contributes to making a happier life. It may well be a topic for another article. All the very best. Ali

  9. Hi Ali,
    You have a great site and your post is interesting.
    Happiness in happy times is just wonderful. The magic comes when you can be happy in the abyss of despair…
    Reading your post made me remember that before my first brain surgery i found myself in a complete darkness. And my only fear was not to die in that darkness. I cried out to G-d and He preserved me from my descent to the pit. He healed my soul! Since then my life is a complete JOY.
    You can learn about me on: http://myhowtofightcancer.com
    I wish you the best of luck and of course happiness!

    • Hi Olga, thank you for sharing your remarkable experience and long may you continue to have such joy and healing. I will most certainly love to learn more about you. Thank you for your comments and I would totally agree that Happiness in happy times is wonderful, but the real magic is most definitely when you can be happy in the abyss of despair, so I thank you kindly for that and I wish you well. Ali

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